Saturday, January 15, 2011

When Birds Fly!

Giggs is the worst player in the history of the game. And this site is getting lamer by the hour. And I need to lose weight. When birds fly!

No, I wasn't stating facts. If I was, I'd say that 'Aphrodite's lame.' but I didn't. Because that would only ever ever be true if there were ever the slightest chance of a fish having wings. Oh wait. This is not meant as a stab at Aphrodite. I wouldn't that unless the next I post is brilliantly awesome! Aww Man! I guess it's just not her day.. But, in the great words of anti-scouse, It could be worse.

You'd also like to know, that the sound of people crying is sad, and makes you depressed. Right? People who laugh at people who cry are evil, mean and lame, and deserve to be taught some sort of lesson through a story with a moral at the end of it. Right? think again. Or think for the first time. Now think again.

A candy bar named 'Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Bar' imported from Pakistan wouldn't actually have Toxic Waste in it, right? I mean, that's positively stupid, and funny in a very sadistic way. Because you're actually selling what you're advertising, and no one does that! D'oh!

Now that you're sick of me being contradicted (The existence of you sympathy is acknowledged and appreciated), Let's get you the dose of happy you came here for. Happy? No? Thought so. But you I know I'd never leave you feeling un-happy! Stupid and pathetic, maybe. But not unhappy! I have customer satisfaction to think of*. So here it is. Now you're smiling!

*This does not apply for the terminally depressed Indian, English and Scouse fans.**

** Or ABUs

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